Move Your Energy
An ordinary morning on the train, going along with my ride per the usual, suddenly I felt the energy in my body become stagnant as an overwhelming rush of emotions invaded my space. It felt as if something was missing. One thought led to another and instantly I felt a void as I was re-thinking the same thought repeatedly. I could feel the emotions trying to overtake my mind and body. I could feel the stiffness in my chest, the restriction and the sensation of tears on the brink of spilling over. I didn't like what I was feeling, mainly because I wasn't sure the origin nor did I want to be in that space in that very moment. I'm in the midst of hundreds of people simply trying to get to my destination. However, I was aware of what was happening and understood immediately what was required of me to move the energy and come back to a state of equilibrium.
Because I was aware of what was happening (energy trying to move through me, but couldn't because I was attached to the thought(s)) I didn't resist or try to suppress it. I started to breathe deeper and concentrate on the things and sounds around me (my way of not completely floating away). I made my way to the office gave myself some space and allowed myself to feel. Mindfully drank my warm peppermint tea and sat patiently as the energy broke free and the feelings I were clinging to slowly dissipated.
Big Sigh....of relief.
Mind you this took place all in a matter of maybe 30-45 minutes. When I stepped outside of the office to run an errand, I was able to smile at the flux of human emotions I'd just experienced. I was able to smile because I had my answer, perhaps one of many, but in this moment, this was the answer. I realized there was something far greater going on than my feeling of something/someone missing, bigger than the sudden feeling of angst. It was my ability to consciously move my energy. To not suppress and create space to stay open. To step outside of myself. To be aware of what was happening in my mind and body and having the capacity and tools to actually move in a way necessary to reach a neutral state. I realized what I had just flowed through was the very keys I wanted to teach/show my son. These seemingly out of the blue moments are the real life things that so many people suffer and struggle from. Triggered by something, have a moment and get stuck. Stuck because you either don't have or forgot about the tools you have in your arsenal for these very moments.
The mastery of our emotions, awareness + self awareness. MAJOR KEYS! I realized this was power. There was no need for me to run. That to feel is just an indication of our humanness my aliveness.